Does This Look Like The Face Of A One-Eyed Bandit Who Stole A Whole Bunch Of Tires From An Auto Shop?

Press Citizen- An Iowa City man faces multiple charges for allegedly stealing tires from an area auto repair shop. Iowa City police were dispatched to Iowa City Tire & Service, 410 Kirkwood Ave., for a report of ongoing theft of tires from the company storeroom, according to police complaints. A review of surveillance video revealed that former Iowa City Tire employee Robert D. Juhl II, 33, had entered the business through an unlocked backdoor and stole tires on three occasions, according to police. Police say Juhl took four used tires at about 10 a.m. April 10 and another three used tires roughly three hours later. He returned to Iowa City Tire at about 2 p.m. April 14 and removed two more used tires from the business, police say. All thefts occurred during business hours, with employees and customers in the store, police say.

When was the last time you saw somebody wearing an eye patch in a not ironic way (Slick Rick not included)?  10 years ago?  15?  20?  And are they making a comeback?  I don’t keep my finger on the pulse of fashion so I’m a little out of the loop here.  I’m on board if that’s where society wants to go with fashion next.  I’ll need to order one because I’m one of those fucking losers who doesn’t have an eye patch lying around that I can toss on at a moment’s notice like this tire thief.  People don’t wear them any more and I’m not sure why.  Eye patches say, “I’m a badass but I also like to have a good time and have a kind heart.”  Pirates wear eye patches and pirates are way cool.  When I saw this dude rocking one I audibly yelped.  Like it was the first time I ever saw something so shocking and yet so dignified.  That’s right.  Dignified.  Normally I would say people shouldn’t steal tires from an auto shop.  It’s wrong and immoral.  People need those tires to put on their car and get to work and provide for their families.  But eye patch guy?  That dude can steal as many tires as he wants.  Eye patches get to do whatever eye patches want to do.  The world is their oyster.